≡ Menu

One Direction Groupies: How To Be The Big Boobed Blonde Of Blogging

Dear Multi-level Marketer/Network Marketer

If you want to be heard in this stupid-dumb-loud One Direction concert we call the internet, you gotta stop using the first words that come to mind.  Otherwise Harry ain’t gonna notice yer groupie ass.

But there is hope.  It’s called copywriting.  If you learn it?  You might just find yourself backstage with a rock star client.  Or 20.

Calm down, it’s not nearly as scary as it sounds.  While a natural knack at writing doesn’t hurt, its not an absolute requirement.  And you didn’t need an A in english either.

I mean, shit.

When I was in high school, most of my english classes were spent drawing some epic doodles, and I spent most of my time drifting in and out of eyes-wide-open naps.  I was a c- student in engrish.

My point:  Needles, dude.  I can show you how to inject better words into your marketing to make more cash.

One of the things you can start doing immediately to instantly become 100X better at typing nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives (god I can’t even believe I’m typing those words) is: avoid cliches.

In word warfare, this is how you annihilate your rivals – the millions of other network marketers online, who are shouting even louder, desperately fighting for the same scarce attention you are.

It’s a daunting task, ain’t it?  Just being seen is a real bitch, but then you gotta be impressive enough that anyone gives a damn.

So let’s rap about that:  In an ever growing sea of good looking groupies, how do you become a dropper of jaws? a receiver of double takes? the big boobed blond bombshell?

Is it really as simple as cropping out cliches?

For instance, if you have never said (typed) “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side”, “you can’t judge a book by its cover”, or more specific to MLM’ers, “I’m helping people change lives”, “teamwork makes the dream work”, would money happen to just find its way into your bank account?  And if so, how?  Wouldn’t you have noticed more zero’s in your bank account?

This is me, eye’s wide open glaring into your eyes, saying YES.  It is that simple.

Surprisingly like all simple advice, it’s only useful if you apply it.  And, as you’ll see, there is a lot that goes into pulling this off.

Finding creative, refreshing, attractive new ways to fashion played-out paragraphs will require you to:

  • Be constantly aware of all the lame, dull, douchey communication crimes taking place in the network marketing space.
  • Check every single sentence you string together to absolutely make sure you haven’t committed the crime yourself.
  • Continually be coming up with alternative words, phrases, metaphors, et cetera, to have on stand by.
  • Sub, swap and edit the shizzle outta everything you write before hitting the publish button.

None of it is hard or even all that time consuming.  In fact, the first step should automatically make your first draft much better than average. (just be aware of over abused words, lame sayings, and annoyingly ordinary MLM behavior).

But, you’ll need to snap outta that trance.

So.  Rather than leave it open to interpretation, I’ll go ahead and tell you what to avoid.  Here are 21 of my top network marketing no-no’s – words, phrases, or behaviors that you want to avoid like boys do commitment.

  1. “Newsletter”,or “sign up to get blog updates” (ughhhh)
  2. Anything to do with “empowering”. (Seriously… so overplayed)
  3. “Guru”. (Honestly?)
  4. “Awesome” (I am an offender of this….)
  5. “Crush it” or also “Kill it” (2013 called…)
  6. “Epic”
  7. Slightest amount of hype. (Dirtbag)
  8. “Make money online” (The STD of online marketing)
  9. Any reference to the “right time, right place.  Also comparing your new deal to “getting in on groundfloor like Microsoft or Apple” (How do you even look yourself in the mirror?)
  10. “PM me to get started” (How bout I punch you right in the mouth?)
  11. Any corporate lame oh sounding tagline/statement.  Ex. “I’m passionate about changing peoples lives” (Excuse me while I barf)
  12. Acting like you are not in it to make money (Gimme a break)
  13. Sounding needy
  14. Pop ups
  15. Yellow highlighters
  16. Any mention of yer comp plan
  17. Lines mentioning “you get two and they get two….” (Cool story dude)
  18. Make a list, memory joggers or asking who do you know (It’s called integrity)
  19. Posting your product all over your social media page (*Eye roll*)
  20. Acting like the company cheerleader (Put the pom poms down sally)
  21. Recommending Think and Grow Rich, anything Tony Robbins says, plus hangin off the nut sack of Jim Rohn. (Hey, they aren’t bad people or have bad books or talks but because every damn network marketer in the history of MLM has the same recommendations)

There you have it.  A monster list of 21 don’t do’s that, if followed, will push you to the front of the line of MLM people that will get you noticed… oh, and paid.

Now, there’s always a chance that this exercise made you realize: Holy shit, the entire network marketing industry is uninspiring, trite, and downright full of douchey sayings.  It may also make you realize, “Hot damn, how am I standing out in front of all the other sheeple that are doing the exact same thing”?

Anyways, keep it cliche free.  That’s all the advice I can really give ya.

Now, I got twins to take care of.

Till next time,


PS – For my edgy, somewhat sinful, sexy copywriting tips I put together in a short 15 some pager cheat sheet, Click here and I’ll send you the download link.  You’ll thank me later.

Comments on this entry are closed.