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K.O Cliches, Bitch Slap Boring

I preach a lot about generating leads and making sales.

But that’s only half the battle.  The other half?  Words.  Your’s as a matter of fact. Especially in network marketing and affiliate marketing.  People are out there sponsor shopping as I speak.

So throw me in yer cart.

And you know?

Shopping is actually a damn good way to think about this.

Imagine your a bag of chips.  And your way down at the bottom of the aisle. Lame packaging, boring brand.

Shopper Shelly comes strolling down the aisle.

Chewing that gum loud enough for anyone within two rows to hear, of course.

Then outta no where….

The cart suddenly comes to a halt, the gum chewing stops.

She’s parked right smack dab in front of you, fiending for chips and salsa. Here’s your chance..

“Oooo ooooo, pick me, pick me!” you scream.

Except your a bag of chips damnit, and you can’t speak.

All you want is to be licked and dipped.  But Shelly says “whatevs” and opts in for the Tostitos instead.

Which just happened to be at eye level.

And sheltered in a bold blue bag with colorful copy and topped off with a very well known brand.

You never stood a chance muchacho.

Aww no way, did she just do that too?

To pour salt in your wounds, Shelly boots your thick and chunky cousin with her gucci’s as she lunges for a jar of Tostitos Salsa.

Damn Tostitos.

And the rich get richer.

Does that sound about right?  Mmm hmm

Ever feel like you’re the no name yellow bag of chips in your network marketing or affiliate marketing company?

And the handful of stage walking earners are the Tostitos?

Or the Lays?

Or the Pringles? (homeboys got curves – how the hell do you compete with that?)

I’m sure you have.  I sure know I did.

So whats the solution?  Make a better chip? Nope.  Make a different chip.

Ruffles got ridges, Pringles got curves (and a cool package), Tostitos made scoops.  Other peeps in the chip game went niche.  Low sodium, less fat, whatever.

Lays went and got a famous hockey player.

Did these guys throw up their hands and say “well the chip industry is saturated – guess we can’t compete.  Guess we’ll go sit in the corner and suck our thumb?”

Millions of dollars of profit later, the answer is a “hell no!”

You can come into any opportunity at any point in the game…

… With no name.

… With no huge list

… Without prior success

… Without any social support

And still blow the roof off the damn thing.

How, you ask?  By manufacturing an unfair advantage:

Learn to leverage your language to create a distinct chip.  Not a better chip.  A chip that makes crunchy munchy time, your time.

Where people actually want to lick you and dip you.

Then recommend you to all of their chip eating brotha’s.

(Again, not because you taste any better than the hundreds of other chips out there – but because you won the “pick me!” game)

“Makes sense Matt, but how?”

Jus’ told you amigo.  Use yer words.  No, use better words.  No, use fresh words.

For starters, kill the cliches and stop being so god damn dry.

“Well our comp plan…”

Puhhh lease.

“All you gotta do is get 2 that get 2 that get 2 and…”

Stop, So the entire world population would be in this thing in 37 days?

“Our company is the fastest growing at a rate of…”

Imma stop you there, bud.  I need stats of your stupid company like I need an STD.

“Can I ask you a favor?  Who do you know that would like to make full time income with part time…”

Finish this sentence and imma throat punch you.

“Everyone drinks coffee (or: wants to lose weight, desires smooth skin, wants to make more money)… just think of the income potential.”

Oooohhh, I wish you would.

I’m honestly starting to see that the problem isn’t getting found.  Even if you’re failing SEO school, I know you have probably vomited similar shit all over your Facebook wall.


Betcha, hundreds of your friends and family and unsuspecting innocent bystanders are picking chunks of MLM vomit off their clothes right now.

Hopefully at this point, I’ve injected the idea of needing to cover yourself in bright neon paint to standout in this massive grey shirt wearing mlm arseholes, didn’t I?

Just like that Bell commercial, the guy in blue standing out.

They could have used their commercial time to talk about bland benefits and fluffy features.

But they knew better.

They knew that, millions of Canadians, like me, would tune them out the moment their commercial came on.  So they needed to be anything but cliche or boring or ordinary.

Yet, here I am, totally not thinking of a new cell phone carrier, spreading their brand because of a cool catchy commercial.

Did Bell throw their hands in the air and say:

“Man, Rogers is doing their thing.”

“And Telus sure is tough…”

Fook no!  Every gorilla in every mass market found a way to climb that giant mountain.

Same with online marketing and network marketing…

Everyone on the leaderboard faced the same challenges, the same obstacles, the same odds as you.  And still conquered.

But you’re not going to join em by spitting the same lame rhymes as the other 100k company rappers.

Mic check.

It’s sink or swim baby.  Voice and style.  It’s everything.  I’m telling you, no commanding you to leverage yours.

So that you can take what’s already been beat to death and resurrect it.

This whole Crazy MLM experience? Cheesy one liners, weird sayings, ridiculous references?

It’s all me chico.  The collective core of who I am.

Copywriting, isn’t about finding your voice…

You’ve already got one.

It’s all about learning how to express it through words.  Whether you’re typing, chit chatting on the phone or jogging down Main St butt nakey with a bullhorn.

… If you’re saying whatever comes to mind, or what everyone else is saying, you’re just plain screwed.

What you say trumps what you’re selling any day of the week.

Yep, even hump day.

When it comes to blogging, sales letters, emails et cetera, your words better be leaping off the page and slapping your readers across the face.

Wanna ball till you fall?

Capture this realization (and stuff it in yer pocket):  you ain’t selling your products or your comp plan, you’re selling yourself.

Keep your clothes on.

I mean your unique beliefs, fears, hopes, dreams, perspectives, and individual experiences.

No one – not even your closest family members – have heard that inner voice that talks to you all day, every day.

The reason why I’m able to make money from my blog and the ads I run:

… while most other bloggers, even ones who get lots of views, make only a small fraction of the sales I do:

It’s because I’ve taken that inner realness and put it down on digital paper.

That’s who I am.

It’s who I’d be and what I’d say if I didn’t use a filter and I was 100% true to how I felt at all times.

You don’t need to be me to make it rain, you just need to be (amplified) you.

Maybe that’s someone who closet eats, has a foot fetish and cries when the cineplex snowman video comes on.

Just admit that shit.

And guess what?

Doing so will be scary.  It will take balls.  And you will face self doubt before you click the publish button.

That’s the foundation for compelling communication.

It all starts with you doing you, boo.

Words are weapons.

Now let me shoot this rocket of a cheat sheet into your inbox.

Download it here


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